| So it's been awhile since i posted on here, you know being a new mom and all it's kinda hard to find the time to play online for a long period of time... BUT Alyssa is asleep, so I figured "hell, why not?" So heres the play by play...
Alyssa was born in Oct[as you all know], she's already crawling and sitting up on her own, and shes sitting herself up, started that yesterday, it's so cool. Shes got two teeth, and working on another two... [teething, the WORST part of motherhood, aside from labor and delivery] In Jan you had the RSV virus, it was SO depressing, she had to be on a breathing machine, and take steriods... I cried like EVERY DAY... I hated seeing her so sick... She champed it out though, so no damange done. My cousin, her bf and their son moved out in Feb[which gave us a spare room], we recently moved Alyssa into that room... We bought curtains and all kinda of stuff for her...
Had to go to the doctor a couple of weeks ago, everyone thought I was going through post partum depression... So yea, I went in to be tested for it... and it was a no, I'm good, well kinda... I did have to talk to my doctor about my sleeping problem... I went serveral days without sleep, and the nights I had slept I only got MAYBE a couple hours... So she put me on a sleep aid, Amitrypline, it worked for the first few days, and then it kinda just quit working, so I had to go in again, and she gave me a higher dose of it, it seems to be working rather well, we'll see I guess. ANYWAYS... We think the insomia started getting bad after we moved Alyssa into her own room, so we decided to move her back into our room. Eh, apparently that wasn`t the problem, cause I still don`t sleep much, but whatever. Justin and I are now in pre marital counseling... We had ALOT of problems after Alyssa was born, so we decided to try and work them out ourselves, yea that wasn`t getting us anywhere, so we took the next step... And pretty much we made a promise to one another that if this doesn`t help our issues, then were gonna call it quits and do our best to be civil over Alyssa, but from the looks of it the counseling is helping, we`re getting along better, having more fun with one another... So I would suggest it to anyone that is having problems in a relationship and actually WANTS things to work out... BUT you better have insurance... Shit is exspensive!
Anyways, back to life, my mother has gone physco, I think shes on drugs again, no proof to back it up but I have reasons to believe it... but whatever... either way I gotta worry more about my daughter my future and her future so I can`t be caught up in some elses drama... Speaking of my future, I`m still in high school, Im already half way done... Progress is progress right? I`m still trying to figure out what I wanna be when I graduate... Do I wanna be a writer? A stay at home mom for the rest of my life? Do I wanna be a vet? A doctor? Mmmm... Who knows... I don`t.. lol Anyways... So, Justin and I are getting married, we picked a date, just not a year... LOL we decided on Sept 14th... Were hoping for this year but no promises... I guess we`re kinda just letting time take us to where ever it wants to go... Our wedding isn`t much of a topic we talk about, I mean granted we do talk about it, but its more along the lines of the colors, and who we want there... But nothing on when and where... I know I want my white dress, with a vail, and I want my family and friends there... Moving on... Salena and I aren`t really friends anymore, her bf, her daughter, and herself moved into one of our houses and they fucked us over.. Apparently they think that just because Salena and I had been friends for so long they could live there for free, kinda pissed me off, were working on evicting them... They aren`t going easily... But whatever, either way we will win...
Diana and I started talking again... Actually Diana and I have been spending damn near every waking moment together again... She`s offically my best friend... She got married Jan 26th to monTim, Alex` father, I`m happy for her, but I feel horrible, Tim went active into the Army, so hes been gone since just a few days after their wedding, shes been really depressed about it... They are being stationed in KY, so when he gets home they`re moving there... And once again I will be left without any best friends... Salena - turned out to be a using bitch..
Kayla - Moved to hutchison, hardly ever talk to her anymore...
Diana - Moving to KY, probably won`t hear from her either...
I have Justin and my daughter now... Thats pretty much it... God, I miss my life... I miss all my friends, I miss being handle to be a teenager... I miss high school, I miss the drama, I miss my teachers... I miss being `part of the gang...` WTF happened to me? Where did my life go? Does having a baby really do this to you? Does it honestly make you invisible to others around you... Seriously, I feel like even to go to Wal Mart with my daughter, I feel like I`m being stereotyped because I`m a teen mom... I`m not a whore, I didn`t get pregnant off a one night stand... I don`t have sex with a bunch of men... I`ve been with Justin for over a year, granted we weren`t together very long when I got pregnant but we stayed together... Thats gotta count for something right? Anyways, before it starts sounding like I regret having my daughter, I wanna make it known, I would NEVER change what has happened, and quite honestly I don`t really care what others think of me and my daughter at the store... She`s my life and shes my reason for still being here, granted she nearly killed me but it`s ok, what doesn`t kill you makes you stronger, and I believe what happened in the delivery room happened to remind me that shes here to stay, that it wasn`t some fucked up dream that I would someday wake up from... It happened the way it did because it was suppose to, to make me love her more than I already did, to make my cherish EVERY moment, and to make me see that I needed to open my eyes, that I wasn`t alil kid anymore, and this wasn`t a game... This is real life, this is raw uncensored life... |
